|24th Jun 2011✧15:513,890 notes
‘Honesty is a double edged sword.’ My body shakes, not from the chill of the rainy day aftermath, but from the thoughts of what could have, would have and should have been. Finally, after two and a half years, the truth slowly seeps between the lines of the most honest conversation we’ve had yet. Your thoughts. Mine. Mirrored, like our lives in airports and out of suitcases. Conversations exchanged between packing for there, and a quick touchdown here. We’ve come full circle from those eventful nights in Hollyweird; from silence and forced distance to an intimate friendship and back. I never understood why you let me go, but I do now.
You’re ingrained in my memory as the epitome of perfection. While it will always be easier to see the flawless characteristics in someone other than yourself, know that this is true. Neither of us believe in ‘leagues,’ but this doesn’t change the notion (and my firm stance) that you are light-years out of mine. We will look back and laugh, as we always have, but the underlying truth is that we perceived the other to better than what we deserved. Perhaps not for forever, just for now.
And for now, we’ve both let go. The tickling edges of this unsheathed sword remind us that it will never be ‘all in the past,’ but we must keep on
keeping moving on.
she is at her weakest right after a workout. when her clothes are stripped to a soggy pile on the bathroom floor, and simple tasks like walking and sitting become reminiscent of painful physical therapy exercises. when the hot water runs over her sweat-drenched body and dulls the pain from lactic acid build-up, the memories come rushing back. her sobs are drowned out by the gallons streaming from the shower head, and her tears are lost amongst the rest of the water pouring over her. she is weak. not from the grueling work out, but from the stillness that accompanies solitude. it brings her to her knees in the slippery, ceramic tub. her body shakes with each hiccup, each sniffle, each gasp for air. it’s as though nothing can be made whole again, and all that she’s known for the last year and a half is being washed away.
|5th Mar 2011✧09:49229 notes